Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
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My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
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In other news, I just burned my penis
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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