I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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