i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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