haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize