his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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