tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize