It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
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My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
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Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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