You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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