Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize