U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want to make a zoo with you.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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