Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
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My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
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He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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