You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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