i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize