remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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