Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize