I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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