eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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