her vagine was all disorganized.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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