i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
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Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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