just tell him i said nine months
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize