do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
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Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
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He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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