Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize