p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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