there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dicks are not precious.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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