so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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