now i know why i became what i already was.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize