i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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