he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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