I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
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He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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