Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize