there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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