At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize