that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize