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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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