We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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