so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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