The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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