obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize