I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize