Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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