Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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