Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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