U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
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I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We're too hungover to prance.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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