I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
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Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
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Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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