I'm going to jail i love you
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he was CRYING into my vagina
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
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he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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