I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Randomize