the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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