After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize