Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
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It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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