I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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