What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize